This week, I picked up pine cones, stuffing and poo poo in the back yard, had neighbors over to visit, played with the dogs. So why am I miserable and so very lonely? I have always figured that each person had a reason to be alive. But my reason is gone. I'm like half a person not even half because the very best part of me is missing. I wander through the house and yard with no direction and without any reaction to anything. I feel like I am one of the living dead just going through the motions of a life. I am really ready to be out of this misery. The girls are coming in a couple of weeks that will be fun. I will enjoy them. Puplets are really growing up. Have flowers blooming in the yard. Called Sears repair for the lawn tractor. Trying to be a responsible grownup. Wanting to be dead with Leo.
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